Thiking of Working during CNY think again....

OMG i really pity tis OLD MAN (ahem.....)

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman."

"What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.

Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You can't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and we have more sex, the best an old man could want. And then at supper time, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have a perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"

The old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."

Idenity unimportant

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided.

The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student.

He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Are You sure that you don't know WHO I am?!" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

FACTS ABOUT LIFE

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips aremoving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass. Then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (Dead TRUE)

A poem dedicated to the lecturers back in IMU.........

hmmm maybe i should replace the words maths, geography, physics and english with pharmacology, microbiology, biopharmacy 2 and physical pharmacy......wat u guys think?? however i ll always support the last sentence hahahahah......

When i Die , bury me deep
Ten feet down fast as leep

Place my Maths book on my head
Tell my teacher that i am dead

place my geography book on my chest
Tell my teacher how i am at rest

Place my physics in my right hand
Tell my teacher nothing i understand

place my english book on my left
Tell my teacher i tried my best

Also tell my teachers not to cry
For they are those who made me die

Record......

Well was in uni when i checked my mail box n to my supprise i received a mail from the a sound record company telling me dat they are interested in the song i posted n asked me for permission to publish the song on radios........i ll love to make a record of my own dude but the jap song which is currenly playing on my page aint mine.......lol........wat a dream come true if this letter reached one of the hands of one of the bands around........wish i qualify to join a band lol......haiz....... anyway u can read the letter fer urself its jus below........

Good 1ssss

In war soldiers get injured, right? Here's how different races exclaim:

When the BRITISH got shot - OH MY GOD.....!!!!

When the MALAY got shot - YA ALLAH....!!!

When the INDIAN got shot - AH-YOYO AMMAH...!!!

But when the CHINESE Hokkien got shot, they go - NABUEH CHEE BYE, TIOK LIAO...!!!!

****************************

Comfort in Friendship:

"Friends" are like underwear; always a comfort... "Good friends" are

like condoms; always protecting... "Great friends"

are like viagra; lift you up when you're down ...

****************************

New drink from Malaysia:

The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made

with cutting edge technology.

It's a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh.

It's called - "LICKMYKOTEH"....

****************************

Government job

A guy goes to interview for a Government job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"

The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?"

The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled.

During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me

disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I

can hire you right now !

Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about

10, and we'll get you started."

The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"

" Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that !"

****************************

Subject: Why women talk so much

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women

use more words than men.

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.

It read: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband,

"It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said, "What?"

on9 Games

Ok i m currently now in uni blogging fer fun since i have till 1330 hour till i start to torture the guinea pig illeum ehehhe cross my fingers hope the guinea pig behaves o not there goes got to stay up till 2000 hour. Well fer those of u who are boring u can always try to solve the puzzle to the game (links below got em from Trance -Tech cant seem to get into their site at home but i got in ere in uni....Weird but anyway enjoyzzzz)

Blue Chamber

Crimson

Viridian

Guys BEWARE....!!!!!!!!

HARD-DISK Woman:

She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:

She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:

Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:

They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:

Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:

Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:

She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:

She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:

Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............

The Self-Stress Test

Ice-cream VS Explosion

now we knoe where choclate ice-cream come from....


hmmm if US attack Iraq with a peace sign whould Iraq still b rebelous???

Microsoft Windows KS

If tis is my pc i ll definately format it a couple of times till its alrite lol....

Random Jokes of the Day

Poor Garfield



Heaven VS Hell

hmmmm doesnt the offers seem tempting??? wish i could b there instead of ere suffering wit pharmacology n microbiology n not to mention my undone lab report......

1st blog in 2005

Yea guys ssup??? if its the ceiling i dun wana knoe coz i already knoe anyway its been a while since i ve blog a single thing down ere so ere s the update u guys have been waiting long..........yea back to uni n things are getting tight.......pharmacology, microbiology, foundation pharmacy, biopharm 2.......Wat the heck so many subs n not to mention sum are so boring till we can sleep in lecture rooms (p/s: guys from P104 if u remember the lecturer hu likes yellow lights hehehe joking) while sum lectures are so thedious till we have to pay attention fer the whole hour to catch things up i duno bout the rest of the batch but i find pharmacology n microbiology pulling the rope around my neck tighter n tighter......(argh.....help.......i m out of breath!!!!)

P/S: to the coordinator fer the whole phamarcy programe why didnt u shift sum of the subjects we re having now to the last semester????!!!! like the stupid Malaysian Studies why start to bombard us at one go in semester 3????? u knoe wert?? my dad has been bugging me the whole of semester 2 asking me why semester 2 so free since he paid the same RM 13k like the 1st semester.......)

Anyway jokes and studies aside i m having my break on the net playing gb hehehhe n jamming n still searching fer sum jokes to post ere n guess wat??? i ve found it hehhehe hope u guys enjoy the link below A Wartime Parody to the Tune of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" hehehhe.......enjoyzzzzz (c so many zZZzZz feel like sleeping d hehehehe)......ok ok ww out!!!!

The Real Slim Shady

LYRICS

May I have your attention please?
Infidels,
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Hussein please stand up?
I repeat. Will the real Hussein please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...

Y'all act like you've never seen a dictator before
Jaws all on the floor like Hitler and Stalin just walked in the door
I started terrorizing years before the first gulf war,
Now I plan to even the score

I've got so many body doubles. It's true. No kidding.
I don't go to the streets. They all do my bidding.
And Chemical Ali said... Nothing you idiots Chem Ali's dead
I'll find a replacement

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose,
But it's no worse than what's going on in the U.S. war room.
Sometimes I wanna go on Al Jazeera and let loose, but can't
But it's OK for the U.S. to destroy my statues.

Osama's down with this. Osama's down with that.
And if he's lucky he might get weapons from Iraq.
And that's the reason why my regime got attacked.
If I react with chemicals, I'll surely get jacked!

Of course you're gonna bomb me and my forces
By the time you fly warplanes
I'll be in Tikrit sippin' on champagne.
And when you miss me, please don't start to complain.
You've got so many soldiers tearing up my terrain.

I'm like a cockroach cuz you can't kill me.
The guy you're bombing now isn't the real me.
My information minister goes on TV
So he can say I wasn't found in the debris.

And there's a million of us just like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk, oppress like me
Mustache like me, a big piece of trash like me
And just might be a piece of shit, but not quite me!

I'm Saddam. Yes, I'm the real Saddam.
And you other Saddams can all kiss my bottom.
So won't the real Hussein please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?

I'm Saddam. Yes, I'm the real Saddam.
And you other Saddams can all kiss my bottom.
So won't the real Hussein please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?

Check me while I babylon.
Pump up the bass, Qusay.
I'm bad.
No I mean it. I'm really bad. I could have you killed.


[gunfire]
[record scratch]

GOT EM!